λαστ ιν μομεντς.

Μην πεις κουβέντα, αλήθεια. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPbOmfeRuKw

Το θέμα ήταν να ανέβουμε στο τρένο χωρίς να κλείσουμε εισιτήρια, χωρίς καν να γνωρίζεις που πάμε. Έπεσε κατά λάθος, σχεδόν επίτηδες μια στάλα από το ποτήρι νερό που έπινες σαν να μην είχες γευτεί ποτέ ως τώρα την γεύση του υδρογόνου σε συνδυασμό με το οξυγόνο. Πιθανόν το οξυγόνο να το πήρες ήδη από το περπάτημά μας στην γκρίζα πόλη με τα αμάξια, τα φώτα και τα φανάρια που αναβοσβήνουν αλλά δεν ξέρουν το γιατί. Ξέρουμε εγώ και εσύ, αρκεί. Είναι εκεί για να μας σταματάνε από την φόρα, να γυρνάς και να κοιτάς πίσω από το μάτι, να κοιτάς στα σωθικά και να προσπαθείς να τα τραβήξεις να βγουν έξω γιατί μόνο να κρύβονται ξέρουν. Οι ανάσες μόνο δεν κρύβονται, κυρίως όταν κάνει κρύο. Σε βλέπω να τις αφήνεις, ίσως λίγο πιο γρήγορα απ'ότι συνήθως, στην προσπάθεια σου να ερμηνεύσεις το πόσο γρήγορα περνούν από μπροστά σου οι σκέψεις μου. Δώσε μου για λίγο το χέρι σου, να δω αν είναι όντως ζεστά εκεί μέσα και αν τελικά χωράω. Τι είναι όμως ο χώρος; Μήπως εμείς τον ορίζουμε με την παρουσία μας; Πόσο με αφήνεις να αναπνεύσω; Τι γίνεται αν οι αναπνοές ενωθούν, αν οι εκκρίσεις είναι αμοιβαίες; Χημεία θα σου πουν, κι αν ομογενοποιήσεις τις αισθήσεις, τότε θα σου κλείσω για λίγο το μάτι και θα προσπαθήσεις να με βρεις πίσω από την σκιά μου που τόσο καλά με κρύβει, αλλά για λίγο μόνο, ελάχιστα,... στην ουσία με ξέρεις, με ήξερες, δεν κρύφτηκα ποτέ, απλά σε αναζητούσα όσο με αναζητούσες και κάπου εκεί βρεθήκαμε.

the cabin

Is it me, or you are all drowning into a vault of misery? I wonder when will that time come to finally feel like we got all we needed.. 

We daily spin around ourselves and around others to find what? Are you really sure you still haven't found what could smell like happiness?

As for me, it's simple.. just a sip of freedom, a few cubes of love and a cabin to fit all that in. I still try to built that cabin, which would be cozy and coloured, with a touch of jasmine. 

We are almost there, to the moment you can whisper "just stay" but still, the next day second thoughts manifest in our heads and time goes by.

You can never promise "forever" to yourself but you can go for a trial version and if doesn't fit, then don't go premium. It's all up to you.

Sometimes i'm scared cause i might stay there picturing that cabin but never get to move in it and then i change my mind and deside that it might not be a real cabin, but just a feeling in which you could host your desires. Maybe you don't even need to try, if it is there, it's there and you don't need shiny glasses to observe it. 

Just watch. It's there, in that smile, in that breath, in that touch.

No.one.

I thought
You thought
We thought
No one speaks.

I dream
You dream
We dream
No one does.

I want
You want
We want
No one takes.

I love
You love
We love
No one tries.

[...]

At the heart of it all

"To me, fair Friend, you never can be old,

For as you were when first your eye I eyed

Such seems your beauty still. Three winters' cold

Have from the forests shook three summers' pride;

Three beauteous springs to yellow autumn turn'd

In process of the seasons have I seen,

Three April perfumes in three hot Junes burn'd,

Since first I saw you fresh, which yet are green.

Ah! yet doth beauty like a dial-hand,

Steal from his figure, and no pace perceived;

So your sweet hue, which methinks still doth stand,

Hath motion, and mine eye may be deceived:

For fear of which, hear this thou age unbred:

Ere you were born was beauty's summer dead."


[Sonnet CIV - Shakespeare]

Life Happened!

..and then what happened? - Life happened! 

They say, it takes about half the time of a relationship to get over it. Is that true? I don't quite have the answer, but what i might know is that there comes a time that you can't face things as they used to be in your mind. Then again, there's this one other time that you simply cannot see what is up to come.

As we grow old we happen to experience a deeper psychological combat with ourselves and it's a bit more difficult to overcome it. So, despite the current circumstances, it is not at all possible to predict how you may react within a bidirectional communication with someone,.. someone you never imagined of being present. I bet that neither did he know a thing..

You smile and you don't know why - you wait for him to show up - your lips turn red by bites when you finally get to talk to him.. you even think of moments when he's not around.. and the best part, you don't even know him.

How can this be? It's so bloody confusing and outstanding at the same time. Still, you have the least clues of what this will lead into.. still you don't quite care as long as it pleases you, even at that point.

Well. that is the mystery of reality and it is one of those moments you don't get to forget, no matter what. It's life, .. and it's happening!

life in a few drops

I want to know what you’d do to me

I just said that

You just said that.

Just kissed the top of the head.

Ever so gently ...

- You did?

- Yes.

And then ...

I kissed your eyelids ...

And they flattered beneath my lips just a little

- A little ...

And ... very very slowly ...

I just grazed your lips ...with mine.

But because you're married,

I did not dare to kiss them.

- No.

- No.

Instead, I went

slowly into your neck ...

And ... I kissed every inch of it.

And I stopped for a while ...

I kissed the birth mark ... you have

on your left shoulder.

Yeah, that.

And ...

I ... smelled you

I really inhale that i smelled you.

How do I smell?

You smell like you.

Like the smell on the plane.

As you smell now.

A mixture ...

Sweetness ... and ...

... Fuck.

And then I kissed your breasts.

And I licked her nipples ...

And stayed there ...

in no time.

And ... I touch you softly

in the beginning, but ...

I understood from ...

Your reaction to that ..

You do not want ...

To be gentle.

No?

No.

And then I thought, that

How does every point

of your body react.

 And I worked almost

one and a half week ...

... With your body ...

And ... I started to learn.

And to know.

Each detail.

I played with you ...

Before ... I went inside of you

Before you stretch your legs ...

Fuck you ... loudly

Fuck you harder

than I wanted.

But I could not

to resist.

And I pulled

Your soft hair ...

And was moving ...

inside you ...

Fucked your mouth ...

Every point ... and you ...

Until we were turned on ...

so much ...

We could not ...

see clearly, and ...

I told you ... and again

again, "I love you."

.

Mock on, Mock on..

Mock on, Mock on, Voltaire, Rousseau;
Mock on, Mock on, 'tis all in vain.
You throw the sand against the wind,
And the wind blows it back again.

And every sand becomes a Gem
Reflected in the beams divine;
Blown back, they blind the mocking Eye,
But still in Israel's paths they shine.

The Atoms of Democritus
And Newton's Particles of light
Are sands upon the Red sea shore
Where Israel's tents do shine so bright.


William Blake

[inspired by the film "Liberal Arts" 2012]